During the past year, I have started to make some rather weighty changes in my lifestyle. I had joined a PhD program in psychology and was on my way to becoming a therapist. However, I began to realize that I was feeling carried away in a fast torrent that controlled the direction of my life. I tried to not think about it, and just keep on going down the stream. That is, until I really looked hard at the path my life seemed to be on. I saw not being able to have time for the things I loved, such as painting, knitting and being with my family. I saw a stressful, fast-paced 6 years ahead of me in graduate school. I saw the stress never letting up as I joined an internship, wrote and defended my dissertation, and went onto the post-doc training and finally upon starting my own practice where I would have to fight with insurance companies or get paid barely enough to contribute to my family. I saw no good time to have children. I saw no possibility of breastfeeding and homeschooling. I saw no time to read up on nutrition and no time to cook. I saw not having a child until I was about 35. I saw becoming estranged from the only I would have time to have. I saw a life that would be unfulfilling. I would have money, and a career – but I wouldn’t have the life I long to have.
After seeing what I imagined my life was in for, I made a decision to stop right there. I quit, right in mid-semester. I felt like I would be carried away if I didn’t stop now. The life I now see is the life I want, and the life that I have now made possible for myself and my future husband. I see that I am getting married in July. I see us having as many kids as we possibly can – twelve would be great! I see reading about nutrition and having time to cook wonderful, whole and nutritious meals for my entire family. I see living a healthy lifestyle, with little stress. I see going for many walks. I see growing a garden. I see having a healthy birth, with the assistance of a midwife. I see homeschooling my children. I see so many possibilities open to me now. This is how I want to live, and this is now my life and journey. This is the path I am on.
Now I have time to write and think, which is why I chose to create this blog. I am spending the next few months really preparing for being a wife, being more healthy, and being a mother. I have been doing a lot of research lately on various, but related, topics regarding nutrition, health, medicine, pregnancy, raising children, giving birth, etc… I aim to post often my reflections, thoughts and findings. I have begun to realize how hard it is to come across good sources of information. I have also realized how difficult it can be to make important decisions, such as how to give birth, if I should get maternity insurance, if I should take pre-natal vitamins, etc… I am hoping that this blog will be a place where I can express my thoughts and ideas clearly. I hope that others can read what I write and find the information and thoughts useful in making their own decisions. I also look forward to getting comments, opinions, news, ideas and feedback from others so that we can mutually grow from each other.
6 comments:
I love you! And will you be my midwife?? =o) I will see you Monday.
Hey Lindsey,
I am not trained to be a midwife, but I can certainly be there for you as a good of friend as I can when you are pregnant (and even when you aren't ;)
Love you too!
Melissa
I totally honor your difficult decision, knowing it surfaced through a lot of turmoil and placing priorities in clarity. Good for you, you shall be an excellent parent.
As for a response to this first entry, one very crucial reminder. Please have health and maternity insurance in place via Joel's vocation, allowing for the necessary wait period before the maternity insurance clicks in. Nothing should compromise the health and safety and progress of your child.
Babies should be planned for and desired. Financial stress is the #1 stressor in marriage. No sense instilling unnecessary costs with the birth or multiple births of your children. You will need $ to raise them....don't be unprepared with the additional expenses of an adequate prenatal care, labor and delivery. Start off being covered by insurance.
Any complication will devastate you financially and affect your family the rest of your life. So, just as you are already preparing for the new life of marriage and pregnancy, prepare to be covered as well.
Keep exploring and learning, Melissa and Joel,
Susan
Melissa,
Are you choosing a midwife for delivery because you want to have the baby as naturally as possible? If so you can have a baby naturally with a regular doctor as well.
My response to your blog will probably always review a more traditional medical approach and prenatal care,since our background in medicine spans two generations and 42 years. I do listen and learn from many alternative approaches and do not hesitate to accept some of them. So I just may ask for clarification and motivation....
This should be making for stirring blogs!!!!!
Susan
Melissa,
Did not mean for that first entry to be anonymous. I guess I thought my email would identify my entry.
This is the first time I have submitted to a blog. Sorry for the confusion. I shall get the hang of it soon.
Susan
I was really happy to read about your decision! I hope for the best for you - I am sure you will do really well for yourself and your kids. :)
Amy
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