Joel & I were having a “heated discussion” the other day while going for a walk. As we were talking, Joel asked me if I still liked him. I said that I always like him. When we were dating and having heated arguments I would wonder if I should like him, I would wonder if this would work out or if we will ever resolve our differences. But I told him that now, I never doubt us. I might get frustrated about something, but I have never regretted or worried about our commitment to each other. I also added that after such a wonderful wedding like we had, there is no way we could separate. It would just make life make no sense at all. It got us thinking about how special the wedding was to us. The wedding truly felt tremendous, it didn’t just feel like another day or like a performance. There was so much that happened. I felt so connected to my family, a new connection to his family and a significant connection to Joel. It was wonderful because so many people had helped out and participated and so many things came together so wonderfully that we could feel there was a higher presence involved in unifying us. After saying that, I felt so much better, and our “heated discussion” couldn’t continue. We both noticed that the mood had changed, and we just loved each other.
Rereading what I just wrote reminded me of when my sister, Lindsay, made a comment when we were younger that my writing was too happy and boring! I was offended of course, but it is true. When I am happy, it is pretty happy. And what I wrote above is true, so I wanted to write it. I recall not believing that the wedding was going to be the most special day of my life. I felt bogged down with all the planning and big production of it all. I was worried about the religious aspects of my family being Baptist and the wedding being in a Catholic church. I was worried about the food and how to get everything all set up, worried that we couldn’t afford most of the wedding. I just felt like it was just some big expensive production that had fallen away from some real true meaning. But all of those thoughts and worries were totally gone the day of the wedding. It was just everything everyone always says that I thought sounded silly but now realize is true. The wedding was incredible and magical, and I did feel amazing, and my family and I all cried so much and felt so strongly for each other and it meant so much to Joel and I to have our sisters and brothers in the wedding, to have so many of mine and Joel’s family attend, and all the generosity of the people who helped us pay for certain things or who worked hard to help us with everything. It was truly amazing. So I am happy to write how wonderful it was and how much it is still happily printed in our memories and that Joel and I do think about the wedding and that the thought of the wedding dispels some heated discussions we have. All the people involved really did work together to make that day special for us, and in that sense they all helped in unifying us because it is such a significant thing to have all these people send us their love and show us God’s love, and witness us joining together.
I am truly thankful for that because I recall reading in a psychology book that was studying divorce that the couples who couldn’t remember anything good about their wedding day were more likely to get divorced than those couples who would think back and recall it with love and deep emotion. It was like the memory of the wedding day helped their marriage last. Of course this is not the case for all. But it makes me so grateful for our wedding because each person who was there and who send us their love contributed in making the wedding such a wonderful event in our minds that it could be part of what keeps us together in the future, especially in today’s world of so many divorces. I don’t even know how to thank everyone for that gift, which is why I have to turn it to God because it is such a great gift that everyone is responsible for letting love work through them, but no one person is responsible for the wonderful whole that came of it.
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