Growing Together While Apart

One thing that has remained constant from the beginning of our relationship is the fact that we grow closer while we are apart. There have been so many cases where we have been separated. For example, when I would go home for the summers, when we would take a break from our relationship due to irreconcilable differences, and just because we didn’t live at each other’s places (so when we would go home for the night and not see each other until the next day). I have so many memories of this happening. I was coming back to Lubbock, I had been gone all Summer to Fort Worth. This was the first summer since I went to college, so Joel and I had barely even begun dating yet. I had decided over the summer that I didn’t want to date Joel, so as I was returning to Lubbock, we were to just be friends. As friends, he was going to help me move in because my parents were helping my sister move in California. But the moment we saw each other, we were so excited! We smiled all big and hugged, and after we did all of the moving, we are at my favorite place at the time Olive Garden. Another time I recall this was when we would be on a break due to some argument. We would try to not see each other for a week and then get back together to discuss how we felt. When we got back together (probably didn’t even wait out the whole week), we hugged! Not planned, and not expected. And then when we argued a lot, and leave each other in the evenings due to an argument, I would come to school the next day all mad and upset with Joel, but you know what happened the first thing I saw him? I smiled! I was so mad at myself. But I couldn’t stop smiling. So I had to inform him that I was still mad at him, even though I was smiling. But that didn’t really work. I recall walking towards our classroom (we shared a graduate class one semester) and I began to smile thinking about him in there, so I turned around and went to the bathroom to get rid of my smile, because I was really upset with him, but right when I got almost to the classroom door, I smiled again. I couldn’t make the smile stop, I bit my cheek and tongue and nothing worked. So I entered with a huge smile on my face, which always makes Joel smile.

Today, this still shows up in our relationship. Yesterday, I woke up from a nap in a really grumpy mood. And Joel is under a lot of stress with his classes right now. So I was frustrated with him for a lot of little reasons, and he was feeling bad due to all the stress and then my grumpy mood. So we were a little disconnected. Then I got out to go to the grocery store while he took a nap. As it turns out, I got my hair cut before I went to the store. After getting my hair done, I really missed Joel and wanted to be with him. He agreed to come to the store with me, because he had missed me a lot too while I was gone. Usually the first thing I do when he comes home from classes is greet him excitedly. We just miss each other a lot after being apart. It has definitely kept us together through many times. How can you stay mad at someone who makes you smile no matter how you are feeling?