Sun Rise, Sun Set

There are many things in life that we have to do over and over again, pretty much until we die. Some are: cooking, cleaning: house, ourselves, pets, cars, etc…, filling the car with gas, eating, sleeping, waking, exercising, resting, smiling, crying, praying, making decisions, figuring out where to go and what to do, learning, growing, changing, and I am sure there is much more.

A few years ago, I first thought about this daily repetition when I was taking an existentialism class. The existentialists I was reading were pointing out that you are never “finished”, “a good person”, “being” – that instead you are always continuing on, striving to be good, and becoming. It doesn’t matter how many nice things you do, you can lose it all by never doing any thing nice again or by doing something horrible. You have to constantly be making choices that will define who you are.

When I thought about this concept, I really liked it. It seemed true to me, I do have to continue on, I am not finished. And I see many people who think that they are great just as they are, that they have already established themselves as “good” or “smart” and they don’t continue progressing. And just like a car, the less you use it, the less it will work. So the “smart” person who doesn’t continue to learn will eventually be surpassed by those who are continuing to learn.

But you have to really think about what is worth striving for. Do you really want to spend your time striving to be so thin, to be rich, to be seen as attractive by so many people? You have to think about what is worth striving for.

Striving takes energy, a lot of it. Relentless energy. You have to keep eating, every day, whether you feel like making food or not. If you don’t then you will suffer the consequences. The same goes with your mind and soul. They need to grow and learn, and if you don’t feel your mind or your soul, you will become deficient in some way.

These are somewhat old thoughts to me, today’s more recent thoughts have to do with cleaning. I was doing such a great job of keeping the house clean, but I wasn’t doing much else. Recently, I stopped cleaning so much and did a lot of work on my blogs and thank you cards from the wedding, among other things. And now I feel accomplished in those areas, but the apartment is quickly needing attention. This is why I like to schedule. Because it is the best way I can deal with the things that must be done daily, over and over again.

I thought back to existentialism because I recalled being joyous in the idea of constantly growing and striving. I really enjoyed giving a lot of energy to learning, reading, writing, working out and eating. And daily constant things are a nice part of life. They are the part that is the same but different. That keeps things familiar enough for me to be comfortable with, but different enough to not get bored. So instead of letting this cleaning get me down, I want to recall the joy there can be found in constant striving. There can be joy in constant cleaning. Because work always has to be done, but I can reflect on why I am cleaning. I want a happy, healthy, inviting home. One that can welcome people in without worrying about the mess. One that is full of nice smells from cooking. A home that makes you feel comfortable and happy. This is certainly a goal worth striving for daily. And even though I will clean it perfectly once, doesn’t mean it will stay like that. I have to keep it up.

To me it seems like many people view the endlessness of tasks and the constancy of life to be boring and weighs them down. They seem to want action, change, something more. They don’t want to be stuck in a rut. And some feel meaningless. Like the Bright Eyes song where he says the sun rises and the sun sets, from a cradle to a casket, its always the same thing. So the sun comes up and goes down, daily, humans are born and die daily, and its all meaningless. Well, that’s not the way I view it. The amazing things in life aren’t so much found on the outside. When you look at it, it might seem like humans are born and die every day and the sun comes up no matter what, so who cares. But really, the most spiritual, peaceful, wonderful, exciting parts of life happen on the inside. They have to do with the way you face the world. It is true that there are always tragedies happening and wonderful things too, and that there is always laundry to do, but what I think is interesting is how different people can be so happy and so unhappy doing the same activities.

It seems to me that humans are made to do things over and over. Because each time I do those things, I feel myself growing in some way or another. And good things usually come of doing those daily things. It is interesting, but the more energy you spend, the more you will have. I only get bogged down when I don’t think about it. I can’t escape it. I can’t move away, get a different job, go somewhere else. I will always have to do things over and over. If I want to love life, the answer is not going to be found getting away from these daily things, but by accepting and finding joy in those things. So the sun rises, and the sun sets and I am ok with that.